sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
