That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
