if i can run in heels then i can drive
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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