You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
