That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
