I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
