Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
