Just fell off a train. Bad.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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