omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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