she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
