If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
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