I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Semen is not good for contacts.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
