I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
