from now on my penis is your penis
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
