What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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