and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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