good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
