Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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