I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
