It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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