Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
