Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
