You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
