It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
