The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
