He kissed a someone with a penis
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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