so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
