Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I could make wine with my vomit
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
