I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
