All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
