I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
