What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish you could order shots online.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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