we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
