idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
