Porn is love you can see.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
