Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
