I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
