i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
