Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
