I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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