Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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