i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
