Its about making memories worth repressing
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
