I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
