I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
