Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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