Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
