she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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