You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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