True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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