That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
