i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
